The Best Beers We Had At Carnival of Caffeination: Pastrypalooza
February 10, 2020
How can you tell a craft beer festival is going to be special? This Saturday, at Liberty Station, it was when a festival employee strolled up to those waiting to enter and urged them to take smaller pours, because they crunched the numbers, and the average ABV of a beer being poured during the Carnival of Caffeination was “nearly eleven percent.” Pastrypalooza wasn’t here to mess around. It was here to showcase giant stouts– most of which boasted coffee inclusion– and to test the restraint of salivating beer snobs all afternoon.
The downside to a festival like this, if you can even call it a downside? You aren’t going to get nearly as many casual drinkers in the mix. The people coming to attend Carnival of Caffeination know the big names in beer and will form giant lines for the best of the best– especially for timed pours of limited supply monsters. Luckily, Modern Times has *so many* elite stout makers on hand that there’s absolutely no real reason to stand in a line. So when Other Half’s line was looping back around on itself in length when the gates were opened? It meant I had to wait and pass the time drinking things without lines– things like, y’know, Horus and J. Wakefield and Kane. Relegated to having to drink top-shelf stouts without a line! THE HORROR!
That’s the beauty of a well-organized festival: even when the lines pop up, it doesn’t matter. Skip them. While I was able to get Other Half later, I was more than ready to kiss Other Half goodbye for the day, because there were so many other beers on Other Half’s tier– including everything I’ve listed below. Some people are happy to wait in long lines, especially for timed pours, and that’s fine. But anyone complaining about line length at any point, when the list of brewers and stouts in attendance is *this* legendary? They made bad choices. Unlike the organizers at Modern Times, whose choices in invitees were impeccable across the board.
I was able to have at least one beer from every table, so I sampled a good cut of coffee cloth over the course of the day. I limited myself to only one beer per brewery, and I also refrained from choosing anything I’d already had. So between having Horus and J. Wakefield at the recent Juicy Brews Festival, and having Highland Park and Green Cheek with some regularity locally, this made my list significantly easier to whittle down (and significantly faster to write). While I did sample some of everything, my limited liver capacity and my aversion to lines did cause me to miss several timed releases, magnum pours, and bottles that ran out early. So if your favorite isn’t on this list, that may well be the reason.
Thanks to Modern Times, the attending brewers, the food truck employees, and all of the terrific volunteers who made the festival so much fun. The festival had plenty of water, plenty of games (the fingerpainting seemed a particularly big hit), plenty of seating, and plenty of room for a few drunken heroes to dance to the DJ’s rocking set. This was my first Modern Times festival in San Diego (after several heart-breaking scheduling overlaps on my end last year), and it was everything I’d hoped it would be. I’m absolutely clearing my schedule for the Festival of Funk and/or the Festival of Dankness this year. The tap lists are too strong and the organization is too well-executed to continue missing these festivals a mere two hour drive from my LA home. Now, without further ado, my top beers of the Carnival of Caffeination: Pastrypalooza!
Modern Times: Monsters’ Park aged in Rye Whiskey Barrels: Vanilla Coffee-Cake
Sure, I should go alphabetically, but it feels only appropriate to start with our host brewers, because, well, them hosting a carnival for coffee stouts is like The Williams Sisters hosting a carnival for tennis. If I wasn’t restricting myself to one beer per brewery, I could easily put three or four of Modern Times’s stouts on here– and that *isn’t* even including all of their magnum pours, some of which I missed due to absurd line length.
My favorite of their batch (and it’s impossible to choose) would likely be the Vanilla Coffee Cake edition of their Monster’s Park barrel aged stout. Its smooth sweetness can only be described as decadent– the only note I wrote beside it was “this is unfair.” Often during the fest, the Modern Times timed releases had monster lines while the Vanilla Coffee Cake went lineless, which feels borderline criminal. Special shout outs to the Chaos Grid: Joy Edition and the Beastmaster with CoC Coffee and Vanilla… but I think my heart, stomach, and liver all want the cake, cake, cake, cake, cake. And it’s not even my birthday.
On a day when the Other Half line left many waiting in the hot sun, I was over at the Burial Beer booth, gladly guzzling Who Knew, their coffee-and-cinnamon collaboration with (what a coincidence!) Other Half. It was so thick that when I went to the next booth, they had to give it a double rinse— one mere water rinse wouldn’t defeat this thicc treat.
Fremont Brewing: BBA Dark Star Chocolate Vanilla Maple Syrup (2019)
Dark Star is often available at local grocery stores on the west coast, but nothing compares to those gorgeous wax-covered bourbon barrel aged bottles you can find from Fremont. This obviously put Fremont near the top of my must-visit list for this festival (and others), and the BBA Dark Star was as expected. It’s full bodied with nice barrel flavor, and the creaminess from the vanilla rounds the whole thing out to perfection.
Kane was an all-star at last year’s Extreme Beer Fest, and here, once again, their flavors are nothing short of extreme. Lunchbox Hero is a monster Fluffernutter beer, lacing your tongue with creamy peanut butter, vanilla, and marshmallow. I’ve never had a Fluffernutter sandwich with an iced coffee for lunch… but Kane’s selections have me thinking it’s a good idea.
Moksa Brewing: Barrel Aged Mostra 5th Frappuccino
We’ve sung Moksa’s praises on the site before, so it wasn’t a big surprise that Moksa emerged with one of the most singular treats of the day. The Barrel Aged Mostra 5th Frappuccino, an imperial brewed with espresso, was served in a tiny plastic cup, topped with vanilla whipped cream and a sprinkle of vanilla powder. It tasted more like a luxurious frappuccino than a 14% monster, and I could’ve thrown back dozens of these.
Other Half: All 6th Bananaversary
As mentioned above, the line for Other Half at the start of the festival was absolutely bonkers. I was convinced I wouldn’t get any stouts from the brewers who made some of my favorite stouts in 2019. Luckily, when timed pours started elsewhere, that’s when the Other Half line became manageable, and I ultimately was fortunate to try the entire selection. All were brilliant, but the standout? The All 6th Bananaversary, their anniversary stout which takes a typically splendid boozy OH stout experience and adds splashes of sumptuous banana at the end.
Perennial Artisan Ales: Abraxas
For me, Abraxas has always been one of those classic beers you hear about from friends but you never get a chance to try. Thankfully, the Carnival of Caffeination delivered, and Abraxas did not disappoint. The big chocolate and cinnamon punches come through, but the piece de resistance is the slight tickle of ancho chili at the very end— surely the element that has made Abraxas a (no pun intended) perennial favorite.
The Bruery: Black Tuesday Breakfast Cereal
I missed a number of the magnum pours with longer lines, but I lucked out for the final one of the day. This Black Tuesday is a 19.2% titan, a bourbon barrel aged stout with Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Cookie Crisp, and Cocoa Puffs. Now, would the term “breakfast cereal stout” usually give me pause? Absolutely. But The Bruery has earned my trust, especially with these Black Tuesday variants, and as expected, it holds just enough sweetness to guide the booziness gracefully down my gullet.
Tired Hands had a number of terrific stouts on hand. I asked the pourer for his personal top preference— he pointed me to Gatherer. Always listen to the person pouring. Gatherer is a honey stout, balancing its roasty coffee notes with some pleasant sweetness. Then, at the end, an earthy herbal quality serves to ground the bigger flavors and keep them from overwhelming. A brilliantly executed beer.
Voodoo Brewery: Florida Stout: Coconut
The namesake for this Voodoo beer is clearly the pastry stouts in Florida from which this beer draws its inspiration. Fortunately for me, this beer stands on its own right along side the Angry Chairs, Cycles, and J. Wakefields. It’s sweet without rotting my teeth, leaning heavily into the richness of the coconut. It’d absolutely bring a tropical Gulf of Mexico vibe to any Meadville, Pennsylvania party.
Finally, some bonus awards!
Best Smell: Phase Three Brewing: Curvature (Neapolitan)
Look, I highly enjoyed my first ever encounter with Phase Three: their Curvature beers were full-bodied, sweet, and tasty. But the biggest reason this beer stands out is the smell, a sense-defying neapolitan ice cream fragrance that you can detect even when holding your glass at a distance. It makes me want to beg Phase Three: when your Curvature is all sold out, can you please release that flavor in candle form?
Best Food: Bread and Cheese Truck: The Burn-A-Nator
… okay, so maybe I didn’t try every food option there. What do you want from me? I was busy trying to down coffee beer with every spare moment! Still, the Burn-A-Nator, a grilled cheese with spicy salami, was so delicious that I feel fairly safe assuming it would still be atop my list even if I had a larger sample size.
Best Non-Stout Beer: 18th Street Brewery: Fallen Maple
Before the festival started, an employee from Modern Times came out and told a few of us in line a scoop: “Go get the Berliner from 18th Street.” I took his advice and was glad I did: the raspberry in the Fallen Maple is wonderfully tart, but some of the sharpness of the acidity is neutralized by a creamy smoothness that the barrel-aged maple syrup provides. I’ve fallen hard for Fallen Maple.
Best Non-Beer: Superstition Meadery: Pistachio Grand Cru Berry
A Friday visit to Lost Cause Meadery in San Diego had me salivating for more mead come the Carnival– and Superstition makes easily some of the best mead I’ve ever had. Still, they may have outdone themselves with this Pistachio Grand Cru Berry. It’s hard enough to get one rich flavor to shine– but this mead lets the chocolate shine, the berries shine, *and* the nuttiness shine. How can these mad geniuses create so much shine in one drink? They’re a must-purchase anywhere you see them.
Which of these was your favorite? Which beer should’ve been included on this list? Will we see you at one of the other Modern Times festivals in 2020? Leave us comments below!
