Brewery Hops: A How-To Guide
Michelangelo sculpted marble. Mozart composed symphonies. We construct brewery hops.
WHAT IS A BREWERY HOP?
The brewery hop is the art of charting a course between breweries whose locations are geographically advantageous. In a perfect world, you should be able to walk between all of them, and that walk should take around or under a mile. In cities where the breweries are more spread out, they should be biking distance or, at worst, a very short ride for either a patient designated driver or an inexpensive Uber.
WHY NOT JUST STAY AT ONE BREWERY?
Excellent question! You obviously can. Some breweries are worth spending the entire day within. However, when we travel, we enjoy experiencing the variety that the city has to offer. There’s something about going from brewery to brewery that introduces you to a multitude of locals, multitude of games, multitude of foods/food trucks, multitude of atmospheres— and, most importantly, multitude of beers. But feel free to pick one and park it! Whatever floats your boat.
IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT DRINKING A LOT OF BEER.
Well, yes. We are. But we strongly encourage exercising restraint, as we’ve all been on brewery hops that have ended with a final stop face down in a toilet. We’d like to avoid that, as beer doesn’t taste nearly as good coming up as is does going down— plus it’s a waste of beer!
HOW DO I DRINK AT A BUNCH OF BREWERIES AND “EXERCISE RESTRAINT”?
We’re so glad you asked. Here are a few steps we strongly encourage everyone to take when brewery hopping:
1. Take your time. Is a brewery hop even worth it if you get completely smashed? Yes, getting a little tipsy can be fun, especially when hopping with friends, but getting too far gone can lead to trouble– and there’s nothing worse than buying some delicious craft beer just to puke it all up a few hours later. So plan on hopping leisurely. Play games, make new friends. Give your body the chance to process some of the alcohol as you go.
2. Drink water. Like, a lot of water. Our general rule of thumb if you’re planning on sampling a healthy amount of beer, try to drink an ounce of water for every ounce of beer you consume. This won’t prevent you from getting drunk, but it will help prevent the dehydrating effects of beer, including the dreaded hangover. The #1 reason I’ve seen people avoid drinking is “I don’t want to feel like garbage the next day.” Drink water, and avoid the garbage feeling.
3. Eat food. Food can’t prevent you from getting drunk either, but it can delay your body from absorbing it, which can help you provide your hop with additional longevity (and can help you stave off acting like a drunk fool in public). What personally works for me: have a big, protein-rich meal before your hop– a hefty helping of eggs and bacon is usually my go-to– and eat again about three or four hours in, when you’re almost certainly starting to feel the alcohol’s effects. If you can bring pretzels, peanuts, or some other bar snack, that can’t hurt– just be aware that those incredibly delicious salty snacks will also facilitate the dehydration process, making Step 2 all the more important.
4. Share. Split flights and pints with friends. You can sample a wider variety of beers over a longer period of time while spending half the money. Once you get too drunk or spend too much, you lose the ability to try anything that catches your eye– so ward off those problems with sharing.
5. Don’t drive. This is a no-brainer, but there are people without brains out there, so this is specifically for them. Brewery hopping isn’t just a time saver– it can be a life saver. Some people don’t like walking long distances, and that’s fine. Those people should take a bus, Uber, take a subway, or find a friend willing to be the designated driver. If they aren’t drunk, they can bike or, I don’t know, take one of those electric scooters that you see with increased frequency in bigger cities. But if you drink and drive, you could kill yourself and/or others. Beer is a social beverage, meant to help foster a sense of community. Driving drunk is antithetical to these ideals. Don’t do it.